Life After University

Dedicated to the reader:

Never give up, my goal is to inspire you to stop wishing and start working towards your goals. You should never hope more than you work for those goals. Set them and surpass them.  

Whether your goal be to lose weight, move, get good grades, change jobs, or get a job. My past few months have been dreadful well not actually but mentally they have been. And my story relates to everyone of you out there. If you get anything from this is that you should work hard every day and especially when you don't feel like it. 

It is not all sunshine and fairy dust after you graduate. 

At least for those of us who were not able to secure some sort of job straight from the get go. I am still not fully content where I am, and I am still receiving rejection emails. I guess I'm in this conundrum where I do not have sufficient experience for a job but over experienced for other jobs. It just irks me that no one really talks about what happens after you graduate. Everyone is so excited and caught up in the moment of graduation that you forget about what comes next and no one really tells you to worry because "you have the rest of your life to worry & work." 

It's like this big fairy tale that if you go to a university you get your education you pay the big bills and you'll earn a great job where you will pay everything back and get some sort of life fulfillment or purpose to pursue. None of that is true. 

No one tells you how you'll have to pay for all of these bills, start accruing bills, interest, finances, and you'll have to find somewhere to live! You can't get a 9-5 job with your degree but you need to pay bills so you get anything you can get and tell yourself you'll keep applying to jobs until the right chance comes around it is all temporary. At least that is my story. It's not a fairytale ending. It's definitely not a happily ever after. But I am actively pursuing that every day. This blog is certainly a part of that. 

However, time is of the essence and time has a tendency to escape me. Being married and having a full time job is difficult. There are responsibilities, your days off aren't for free time and leisure it's to do errands and get things done. There is no fun time, no me time, no rest. Besides sleeping of course. 

I was the girl that always had my hair, nails, makeup, and outfit perfect. Now I'm happy if I'm just clean and presentable. Time slips away!!! It is not fair. I've neglected my passion which is this blog, and writing. Escaping from reality and sharing my innermost feelings completely freely and openly. 

Being "on," or feeling my best was extremely important to me when I was single. Now that I am married and have a full time job I don't focus on my appearance nearly as much. I focus more on other things around the house or things that need to be done. My appearance sort of took a backseat in this ride and that really bothered me. As a result of that I stopped working out and started binge eating more. I ate what I craved and no one was there to stop me. My husband still loved me and he has been an amazing support system encouraging me to do what made me feel better about myself. But beyond saying my weight gain bothered me I never did anything about it. This is exactly what was happening in my career. I was applying to places with the same result, maybe a phone interview but nothing beyond that. My self esteem as of recently has been in the gutter. Having a lot to do with my appearance and my career. Being unhappy and not being able to get over this depression you could call it. I began looking for answers and trying to work for ways around this. But it ultimately came down to waking up and owning who I am right now. 

Right now I am a recent college graduate trying to pay off my student loans, that means I cannot treat myself to getting my nails or hair done, or any other perks. I haven't bought a single piece of clothing or accessory for myself in over a year. I don't go out or eat in fancy restaurants or have take out for lunch. I am pretty disciplined and don't eat "bad" except for when the sun sets and my sweet tooth wants to snack on something yummy. My husband and I got in a bad habit of watching a movie every night and of course what goes well with movie's? JUNK FOOD! We are both unhappy and we are both struggling. But we are both making efforts to change and to be each other's support system. 

A very easy way to change is to recognize what you are upset about and just let that resonate. If your shoes hurt why are you wearing them? If you are allergic to milk why are you buying ice cream? AND EATING IT? I had to consciously choose to exercise and eat better. To start actively applying myself and looking for a new career path. I had to make attainable goals, goals that I could check off everyday. Whether that is simply having a balanced breakfast and trying to do that everyday consistently. Consistency and creating those habits are key!

I also had to make myself goals, something I hadn't thought about. Of course I had vague goals like, I wanted to pay off my loans, buy my own car, buy a house with my husband. But they weren't specific. You have to be specific in order to have a vision of what it is that you are working so hard for. Otherwise you lose sight and splurging on a pair of shoes here and there will detract you from achieving your bigger goal of purchasing that car sooner. This is true for losing weight too. Treating yourself to cake will only deter you from seeing your abs sooner. Sticking as closely as possible to your goal is essential. 

I am going through all of this and sometimes it can get quite overwhelming kind of like right now. Reading back on this post I am reliving all of my stress, my anxiety, my doubts, but I as well as you have to learn to take baby steps while still looking at the bigger picture. I am still young and I do still have the rest of my life ahead of me to work. But maybe I just want to be happier sooner. 

Remember, stop wishing, start working. If you have any questions, feel free to let me know in the comments below as always...

XOXO, 

Ivon Auriemma